Health nut: Dark chocolate covered strawberries

Easter for me has always been about Jesus, but a close second is chocolate.  I am almost as passionate about the stuff as I am about coffee....and I don't think it's a coincidence that they pair perfectly together.  So what's a girl like me, trying to lose weight, to do when chocolate is everywhere.  I've already decided my beloved Cadbury eggs are off limits as well as the Reese's peanut butter eggs.  :(  But there is NO way I will ever give up chocolate.  So when my mother in law asked me to bring dessert for Easter dinner, I had a good idea: Dark chocolate dipped strawberries.  They are incredibly easy to make and a healthy indulgence.

Rinse berries, then dry with a paper towel.  Set aside.
Create a double boiler: fill a pot halfway with water and bring to a boil.  Pour one bag of dark chocolate chips into a Pyrex dish, or a pie dish like I used.  Set dish over the pot of boiling water (don't burn yourself on the steam!) And let sit for about ten minutes until chocolate gets melty. 
Carefully steady dish with a pot holder as you stir the chocolate with a spatula until smooth. 

Dip each berry in chocolate, holding the stem.  Rotate until is is mostly covered.  Set on a wax paper covered baking sheet, and then continue until all berries are dipped. 
On e done, let sit for about five minutes, then cover with plastic wrap and put in refrigerator.

When you are ready, put on a pretty dish and enjoy the heck out of them!

Adventures in motherhood: teaching my boys to be hard workers

"Mom, why don't you always get me toys at the store?  I'm sick of my toys.".  Both of my boys have taken turns whining this...hoping it would inspire me to go to the store and shower them with every thing they've ever wanted.  It had the opposite effect. 

"I love buying you toys on your birthdays and for holidays, but we don't buy toys all of the time.  You can always do chores for money though.".

I've suggested this over and over, but for some reason this week my boys sprung into action and decided to earn some money. They started with just one or two things per day.  For each chore, we would mark down one mark on a paper.  This was the pay chart, each mark equalling a quarter and the agreed payday would be Friday. 
Ethan started to get creative with his chores; loading our woodbox full of logs...learning to put away laundry that I had folded....cleaning out my car, the list goes on and on.  Will stuck with the dependable bed-making and bringing his dirty laundry downstairs...though he did learn to dust with pledge yesterday under my supervision.

The end result today for payday: Ethan made ten dollars in one week...that's forty chores!  Will made $3.75 but ethan and I agreed that it would be okay to round up to four dollars.

We stopped at the bank, and then off to Walmart we went.  There was so much to look at.   Will settled on a small stuffed puppy while Ethan found a RC car that was just over his ten dollar range.  He negotiated with me, and we settled on me helping him pay if he helped me put groceries away when we got home.

My boys are so proud of their purchases that they haven't stopped playing with them.  I can tell that they are proud to have earned them and I am proud of them for working so hard. Every chore they did was their idea.  It's been a wonderful week.

A novel idea: Google to the rescue!

Today I dropped Will off at preschool, and then brought my computer with me to Starbucks in an effort to force myself to write....yes, I am THAT person.  Anyways, it worked. For an hour and a half I was on a roll...typing brilliant things while sipping a latte.  And then IT happened.  All of my newly written brilliance vanished.  Had I not been in a public settings I would have started crying.  All of that work...gone.  I left Starbucks, not sure what to do.  As I waited in my car for preschool to finish, I opened my laptop and searched everywhere I could think to...
Nothing.  I was getting ready to throw in the towel and start drinking wine when I got home...but after picking up Will and waiting outside Ethans school, I googled (on my handy dandy smartphone) how to recover an unsaved word document.  Immediately I found what I was looking for, and I realized I am not the first MS WORD victim. 
Through a few simple instructions, I was able to recover my unsaved document.  Whew!

Health nut: the importance of cheat meals

Sometimes I just need some pizza!  Last night, my darling husband wad nice enough to pick some up for me.  It was a cheat meal, and I don't regret a single slice.
"I'm not on a diet, I am just eating healthier.".  A couple of months ago I saw this quote on Pinterest and decided to make it my secret motto.  So in the spirit of not dieting, I allow myself AT LEAST ONE cheat meal a week.  Just because a person is trying to make good choices doesn't mean they should deprive themselves of their favorite foods.  Life would be so dull, and the chances of you sticking to being healthy in the long run are slim.  It's easy to get the idea in your head that you are only eating healthy and, then if you cheat...it's easy to beat yourself up for it.  But of you make a plan to cheat once, twice, even three times during the week and the make good choices the rest of the time, I guarantee you will have better results and feel happier when you get to indulge instead of feeling guilty.

Health nut: pork stir fry

I created another successful meal last night.  When I went grocery shopping last week I bought tons of veggies, so I decided to put them to good use last night in a stirfry.  I used a great sauce recipe that I found in Food Network Magazine a few years ago.

Sauce: combine 1/2 cup chicken broth, 1 tbsp soy sauce, 1 tbsp. Hoisin sauce (I found it at Albertsons in the ethnic food aisle), 1 tbsp red wine, and 1 tbsp cornstarch.  Mix well and set aside. 

Cook your protein..I used three pork chops, or a little over a pound.  Slice off unwanted fat from the chops.  Slice and chop until meat is in bite size.  Cook in 2 tbsp. Olive oil or coconut oil (I used both) until cooked through and light in color.  Remove from pan and set aside.

Prep your veggies.  I used one red bell pepper, one onion, three small heads of broccoli, a handful of baby carrots, and about two cups of fresh green beans.  I steamed the broccoli, carrots, and beans for about ten minutes. 
While steaming, cook chopped onion and pepper in oil until tender.  Chop steamed veggies and add to onion and pepper mix.  Add pork back to veggies and pour sauce over all of it.  Mix it up and cook on medium for a few minutes.  Season with salt and pepper, or soy sauce, and enjoy.

Health nut: A.C.V. E....my new favorite way to drink apple cider vinegar

The apple cider vinegar experiment, or A.C.V.E. for shorter typing.  Today is day two.  After feeling bloated for the last few days, I was delighted to wake up and feel slender again.  Not sure if it was from pushing through that workout, eating veggies and lean pork for dinner, or the apple cider vinegar in that smoothie that make the difference...so I will give credit to every small step I took yesterday.  I haven't worked out yet today, but after searching pinterest for A.C.V. recipes last night, I couldn't resist trying one.  I love a nice glass of juice in the morning, and since grapefruit juice is my favorite, the stars seemed to align. 

In an 8oz. Glass, combine 1-2 tsps honey ( or agave nector if your honey runs out like mine did), 2 tsps apple cider vinegar, and fill the rest with grapefruit juice.  Stir well with a fork.  Drink up.

The tartness overtakes the vinegar taste and the honey soothes the throat so that there isn't as much burn.  Yummy.

Fitness junkie: setting new goals

I just finished registering my husband and I for a tough mudder race in Colorado for June.  I'm not as nervous as I was for my first mudder last September because I've been through it before.  I am setting some goals though.  I want to be able to make it accoss the monkey bars (harder than it sounds.  The bars are covered in mud and some rotate.) And I wouldn't mind being one of those cute girls running in my sports bra...last year I was just glad that we were wearing black shirts, as black is a slimming color. 
Can't wait to get muddy and feel like a bad@ss again :)

Health nut: the apple cider vinegar experiment

Day 1:
Apple cider vinegar is one of nature's cure-alls.  If there is something wrong with your body, chances are apple cider vinegar can help.  One of the benefits, they say, is that it can help you lose weight.  How could I resist testing this out? 
So today I made a quick stop at the grocery store for a good brand that isn't as filtered and diluted as the Walmart brand currently in my pantry...I read somewhere that good quality will help.
I did my Insanity workout, hating Shawn T. for what he was making me do and at times (in an unladylike manner) giving my TV the middle finger.  Once done, I made my usual berry smoothie to recover, adding three tablespoons to the mix.  There was a slight burn in my throat as I drank the smoothie that I'm hoping honey will alleviate in the future. 
Within 20 minutes I could feel my body reacting...it felt like my nerves were firing up, if that makes sense.
My goal is to do this after every workout (6 days a week) for a month...until April 20.  We shall see if it makes a difference.

Fitness junkie: ugh! Monday

I feel like Garfield today..."I hate Mondays".  I am desperately trying to make myself workout.  I know I will feel great when it's over, but gosh it would be great to take today off.  So I thought I would have to do it if I posted it...I'm going to workout.  Wish me luck.

Fitness junkie: too funny not to post

Fitness Junkie: the best compliments come from kids

About a month or so ago I was watching an info-mercial for Insanity on TV, trying to motivate myself to get off my butt and do my work out.  My Ethan was sitting with me, watching it with interest as different people shared their success stories and 'before' and 'after' pictures were being shown. 

"Have you lost a hundred pounds yet with Insanity mom?" He innocently asks me.
"Not that much," I say with a smile.  "But I did lose fifteen.  I think I'm doing pretty good.  What do you think, Bud?"
"Yeah," he pauses to think, "but you still have this," he points to that darn bit of fat clinging to my waist for dear life.

That was enough motivation for me to get up and keep up with my work outs.  Kids are so brutally honest.  So yesterday, as I was bending over to fill up the bathtub for Ethan, my sweatshirt lifted up a bit on my back. 

"Mom, your back is getting smaller!  You're losing weight," Ethan says to me proudly.

Thanks buddy.  That was the best compliment I could have gotten because I know it was honest.  Made my entire week!

A novel idea: starting from scratch on a new chapter

One new chapter leads to another.  After finding some flaws in the way one of my main characters was designed, I gave him a whole new backstory that is much more endearing and is making my entire novel stronger...but now I have a LOT of re-writing ahead of me, as well as another brand new chapter for chapter 8.  Looking on the brightside...my editing goals have surpassed my expectations already for March.  My first seven chapters are solid enough, I believe, to call 'finished'!  (the author pauses for a momen to pat herself on the back) 

I can feel my novel turning into something with a strong, entertaining story, and I am so excited about it that I have become addicted to writing every day....sometimes for endless hours.  Coffee, you are my sweet motivation.

"I never laugh until I have my coffee." -Clark Gable

A novel idea: turning a setback into a comeback

I have a confession to make.  I took four days off from writing.  I know I promised to write every day this month, but sometimes you just need a break! Or at least I did.  Today after working out, showering, etc. I brewed another half pot of coffee and turned on my computer.  It took me a few minutes to even remember what I had last written, which could have been avoided if I hadn't stopped writing.  But I sipped my coffee and, like Popeye with his can of spinach, I sprang into action. 

Before I knew it I finished my new chapter, and satisfied with what I wrote, I made the move from creating new chapters back to editing.  As I read through chapter five, occasionally changing or adding something, I realized that I was truly enjoying what I was reading.  I felt like these newly edited parts were now something I could be proud of.  They were now something entertaining me and leaving me wanting more.  My head swelled with pride and I kept going, only stopping long enough to pick Ethan up from school.  Around five o'clock I finally had to stop for the night so that I could get dinner made.

It was such a successful day of writing that I can't wait to dive in again tomorrow.  So sometimes I guess you just need a few days off.

Health nut: clean eating and off that plateau

It seems to me that I have been working my butt off doing Insanity everyday...and for the last 4-5 weeks not seeing much change on the scale and in the mirror.  So a few days ago my darling husband had the idea of altering our intake of carbs...mostly bread, pasta, potatoes, and rice...not for good, just for a change.  It's good to trick your body to activate a faster metabolism.  I have been focusing on getting my carbs from other sources like fruits, veggies and almonds.  And for meals I've had to get creative with side dishes, forcing me to use things like spinach salad and roasted asparagus as fillers, which I wouldn't normally do if I could use potatoes. 
The experiment has already been a success!  After only a few days, I have lost two pounds and my waist is noticeably smaller!  I couldnt be more delighted, and now I'm motivated to try to keep it up for a few more weeks.  Some things that I will be using as side dishes are beans and sweet potatoes, which have carbs...but they are healthy and as long as I still use lots greens I think I will keep seeing results.  Keep in mind that I am still doing Insanity, but if you exercise and eat smart, you will get results! 

"Nothing is impossible.  The word itself says 'I'm possible'."-Audrey Hepburn

My new favorite breakfast: frozen berries, Chobani cherry Greek yogurt, and chia seeds.  Combine at night, putting the berries in the bottom of the cup, and stir in the morning.  And of course...serve with several cups of coffee!

Health nut: "The best salmon I've had so far"

In my quest to avoid rice, pasta, and potatoes while making tonight's dinner, I settled on a menu of salmon and asparagus. 

The asparagus was prepared using a recipe from Food Network's Ina Garten...Toss in olive oil (two tablespoons for a bundle), spinkle salt and pepper, and cook for 25 minutes at 400 degrees.

The salmon had me stumped at first.  A few years ago I adopted a recipe from another Food Network chef, Alton Brown.  It is delicious, but calls for a big dose of brown sugar... So I ended up making up my own recipe and hoping for the best.  Nervously I watched Chad take his first bite, and then was relieved and delighted when he said that it was "The best salmon he'd had so far".  Well, I felt so proud of my culinary creation and had to agree with Chad, so here is the recipe:

Season one pound fresh, wild-caught Salmon with salt, pepper, and garlic salt.  Pour two tablespoons over salmon as evenly as possible.  Then cover salmon with 3 cloves minced garlic and two chopped green onions.  Squirt 1-3 tsp. Of lime juice on fillet, and then evenly drizzle 1-2 tablespoons soy sauce.
Broil salmon on high for about 10 minutes, or until thickest section flakes part with a fork.

Health nut: Green tea...the weightloss tonic

I love a good smoothie after a vigorous workout.  The protein powder helps my muscles recover and It's a great way to consume lots of fruit.  I find the milk, especially almond milk, makesy smoothies taste bland, so instead I like to add green juice.  I alternate brands, using Bolthouse, Naked, or Odwalla, and I normally choose because of the price.  All three versions of Green juice are loaded with goodness...but they still have sugar and calories, so I try to keep it to a cup or less.  But when your blender is loaded with frozen berries you need extra liquid for it to blend right.  Instead of water, I've been adding chilled green tea.  It tastes great with the rest of the ingredients and is an easy way to get a dose of green tea if you have a hard time drinking it straight.  I am just recently acquiring a taste for it by itself.

To make chilled green tea, I boil water in a kettle, then pour into a juice container.  Steep three green tea bags (I use Lipton decaf green tea) for about 10 minutes.  Squeeze 1 tbsp lime juice into tea, take tea bags out.  Let cool on the counter for 20 minutes, add some ice cubes, and put in the fridge.  It'll ne ready when you are!

Here's a recipe I like to use for smoothies:

-1 scoop of (low sugar) vanilla protein powder
-miscellaneous frozen fruit(blueberries, raspberries, pineapple strawberries, bananas, whatever floats your boat!). * fun fact*-most fruit and veggies are negative calorie foods- which means your body burns more calories digesting them then they have in them!
-1 cup of green juice
-1 cup of chilled green tea
-1 tsp chia seeds (optional)
-1 spoonful of Greek yogurt (optional for extra protein)

Blend and feel great!

Health nut: Getting my green on

"Get fit in the gym, lose weight in the kitchen".  As someone who has been working out consistently for years, I learned the hard way that you can't out-train a poor diet.  I was downing countless calories in sugary alcoholic beverages; and eating whatever I wanted and how much I wanted while using the excuse "It's okay, I work out.". 
When I finally realized that I needed a change, I cut out the Twisted Teas and a few other bad things, and with the help of Insanity, I lost weight.
But recently I feel like I have hit a plateau...which is incredibly discouraging.  Slowly over the last four months I have been working on incorporating healthier items in my everyday food and being mindful of portion sizes.  So what more can I do to keep my weight loss momentum?  To avoid weighloss plateaus, you have to change something.  So my answer: Cut the carbs.  Not all of them...just some.  Because if you saw how many carb-loaded foods I was eating, you would understand how this is the perfect strategy to get me off of my plateau.  And it really helps that my husband is not only on board, but that it was his idea....(we both want to look our best for our upcoming beach vacation in April).  So with his blessing, we attempted our first low- carb dinner last night.  Every weekend we treat ourselves to "steak madness" where we cook steak and my favorite spaghetti.  Last night was scheduled to be steak madness.  "How can I make spaghetti low- carb?" I wondered, not ready to give up my favorite dish.  It occurred to me that the sauce is my favorite part and the noodles are just to fill us up.  And I always cook mushrooms in olive oil and red wine to go with the steak.  So I combined my favorite homemade sauce with the mushrooms, and the result was a dish even tastier and healthier than before! 

Here is the recipe:
Cook whole or halved mushrooms (one pack) in 2 Tbsp. olive oil over medium high heat for about three minutes, turning mushrooms occasionally.  Add desired amount of red wine ( I used about a quarter cup of cabernet) to the mushrooms and cook a few minutes more.  Remove mushrooms from pan.
Add 2 more tablespoons of olive oil to the pan, and then one chopped onion.  Cook until soft, about 4-5 minutes.  Add two cloves of minced garlic, a tsp. Red pepper flakes, and a tsp. Dried oregano.  Let cook for 30 seconds.  Then add one 15oz can of diced Italian tomatoes, one 6 oz can of tomato sauce, a tbsp. Of capers, and about 8oz of sliced black olives.  Stir a cook for a minute, and then add mushrooms.  Simmer for five minutes, letting the flavors combine.  Enjoy.

I was surprised when, as I was enjoying this dish, I realized I had forgotten to season it with salt and pepper...and that it didn't need it!  Even my husband, who salts everything!, thought it was great with extra salt.

We also ate a salad with steaks and mushroom dish.  It was easy to make, very healthy, and really tasty.  I used Bolthouse Farms Olive Oil Vinaigrette, which made it even healhier.  My problem with most salads is that need a lot of dressing, and most dressings are about as healthy for you as ice cream.  But this one is great.  30 calories for 2 tbsp. And zero calories from fat.  Plus, olive oil and vinegar are good for you.

Here's how I made the salad:
Two cups of spinach

4oz of chopped feta cheese

a quarter cup of chopped and toasted almonds (to toast nuts, put in oven at 325 degrees for about five minutes...be careful not to let them burn)

3 green onions, chopped. 

Combine all of the ingredients, add fresh strawberries if desired, and then serve with Bolthouse Farms dressing.  Enjoy.

So after eating my New York steak, my salad, and a nice helping of my mushroom dish, I was full.  This surprised me because I can normally eat seconds, and thirds, of spaghetti. 
Immediately after dinner, I hopped up to do the dishes with tons of energy.  I didn't feel weighed down and tired.  When the dishes were done I got things prepared for the next morning.

So what started as an experiment to see if I could make a low-carb yet fulfilling dinner turned into a desire to create more dishes full of goodness and flavor.  I want to feel great and look great, and now I think I'm on the right path!

Adventures in Motherhood: Sometimes you just need a few hours to yourself...to clean

Sometimes you just need a few hours to yourself to clean.  Turn up the music loud, and scrub a dub dub.  My darling husband took the boys with him to his parents' house while he helped his dad with a project, allowing me to get SO much done.  Now every little surface of my house has been scrubbed and I was able to catch up on my laundry.  The top 20 hits on my satelite radio is sure a lot easier to clean to than Spongebob Squarepants in the background.

Now I'm ready to celebrate with an afternoon cocktail on this lovely Sunday.  Chad just walked in the door, and it feels great to have everything done so that can just relax.

fitness junkie: feeling great

This week i had every intention of diving into another round of Insanity, but my poor, tired body needed a break.   so I compromised with my body and did 3 days of Insanity and a coue days of old workout videos that use dumbells.  To my delight and surprise, I was able to use 10 pound dumbells the entire video instead of my "heavy" five pounders.  I guess all of those pushups are paying off.
I finally took my "after" pictures to send the Insanity company to get my free t-shirt.  I felt great about how the results looked in my photos, but realuzedbthat my posture is terrible!  When I tried to stand straight for a retake picture, it almost hurt!  So new goal...keep working out, but somehow fix my posture.  I am thinking maybe yoga will help...and trying to sleep with two pillows at night.

so now I am enjoying my post-workout buzz while soaking in my hottub and drinking some green tea.  Now this is recovery!  Ahhh.

Adventures in motherhood: the red crayon strikes again!

I hate laundry.  No matter how good I am about keeping it constantly washed, folded, and put away...it never ends!  And to top it off, a red crayon snuck in a pocket of either Ethan's or Will's pants and ruined a load of laundry.  Two of my favorite Victoria's Secret PINK tank tops have ruined with red dots, as well as a few towels...including one white towel that now looks like it was used to clean up a crime scene!  Oh the joy.

Movie Recommendation: "Life is Beautiful"

If you want a movie that lifts your spirit and leaves you feeling like you just witnessed a masterpiece when it is over, than "Life is Beautiful" is for you!  I just re-discovered it the other night on my DVR after not seeing it for about 10 years.  I felt like clapping when it was over...but I didn't because, well, that would be silly.  I must warn you that there are subtitles, but they are worth the read.  This is a great movie that everyone should see.




From Wikipedia:

 Plot
In 1930s Italy, Guido Orefice (Benigni) is a funny and charismatic young Jewish man looking for work in a city. He falls in love with a local school teacher, Dora (portrayed by Benigni's actual wife Nicoletta Braschi), who is to be engaged to a rich but arrogant civil servant. Guido engineers further meetings with her, seizing on coincidental incidents to declare his affection for her, and finally wins her over. He steals her from her engagement party on a horse, humiliating her fiance and mother. Soon they are married and have a son, Joshua (Giorgio Cantarini).
Through the first part, the movie depicts the changing political climate in Italy: Guido frequently imitates Nazi party members, skewering their racist logic and pseudoscientific reasoning (at one point, jumping onto a table to demonstrate his "perfect Aryan bellybutton"). However, the growing racist wave is also evident: the horse Guido steals Dora away on has been painted green and covered in antisemitic insults.
In 1945^{[dubious – discuss]}, after Dora and her mother (Marisa Paredes) are reconciled, Guido, his Uncle Eliseo and Joshua are seized on Joshua's birthday, forced onto a train and taken to a concentration camp. Despite being a non-Jew, Dora demands to be on the same train to join her family. In the camp, Guido hides their true situation from his son, convincing him that the camp is a complicated game in which Joshua must perform the tasks Guido gives him, earning him points; the first team to reach one thousand points will win a tank. He tells him that if he cries, complains that he wants his mother, or says that he is hungry, he will lose points, while quiet boys who hide from the camp guards earn extra points.
Guido uses this game to explain features of the concentration camp that would otherwise be scary for a young child: the guards are mean only because they want the tank for themselves; the dwindling numbers of children (who are being killed by the camp guards) are only hiding in order to score more points than Joshua so they can win the game. He puts off Joshua's requests to end the game and return home by convincing him that they are in the lead for the tank, and need only wait a short while before they can return home with their tank. Despite being surrounded by the misery, sickness and death at the camp, Joshua does not question this fiction because of his father's convincing performance and his own innocence.
Guido maintains this story right until the end when, in the chaos of shutting down the camp as the Americans approach, he tells his son to stay in a sweatbox until everybody has left, this being the final competition before the tank is his. Guido tries to find Dora, but is caught by a soldier. As he is marched off to be executed, he maintains the fiction of the game by deliberately marching in an exaggerated goose-step as he passes Joshua's hiding place.
The next morning, Joshua emerges from the sweatbox as the camp is occupied by an American armored division; he thinks he has won the game. The soldiers let him ride in the tank until, later that day, he sees Dora in the crowd of people streaming home from the camp. In the film, Joshua is four and a half years old; however, both the beginning and ending of the film are narrated by an older Joshua recalling his father's story of sacrifice for his family.

A novel idea: Rearranging a novel

What started as one little extra chapter has turned into a complete makeover...copying and pasting paragraphs here, deleting pages there.  I am mostly just rearranging everything, and I think that it will make the novel much stronger...but geeze what a lot of work!

Happy Marriage: God blessed the broken road

"God blessed the broken road, that led me straight to you!"

I've always loved that song by Rascal Flatts..."God Blessed the Broken Road".  It describes how I felt once I finally found my Chad.  Finally?  I met him when I was 20 years old.  What do I mean 'Finally'?  Well, I'll tell you:

We're all given difficulties to overcome in life.  When we do, we become stronger and more appreciative...and even in certain situations sympathetic.  My obstacle was depression.  It's a sneaky, very real, hardship that makes you feel....not right.  It is hard to describe exactly how I have felt the many times that I've been caught up in the grasp of depression, but I'll give it a shot. 

      Antisocial was a word I heard others call me a lot during my high school years.  I didn't talk a lot when others were, and I had a very hard time forcing myself into situations.   I didn't know why I was suddenly so frightened to be around others.  I was in constant fear that if I did join in, they would make fun of me the moment I left.  I was so scared that everyone was talking meanly about me behind my back.  I was so internally focused on myself and my fear that I couldn't see outside myself...I couldn't make myself accept the fact that things weren't as bad as they were in my head.

     Physically Incapable...I think I get such a rush from pushing myself through a hard workout now because when I was severly depressed I couldn't even make myself get off of the couch.  In college I would skip classes sometimes to not only avoid people, but the day in general.  After things got really bad in college, I finally saw a doctor, got on medicine, and moved home. 
...   I wasn't mentally able to make myself go to my college classes, so I was no longer in college after 3 semesters.  College also wasn't the best place for me since I took to drinking alcohol heavily, even self-medicating with it at times.  Alcohol is a natural depressant, so it was the last thing I needed in my life.

    I didn't have a lot to do once I moved back into my parents home.  I did have a lot of time to think though.  I couldn't figure out why God would do that to me?  Why would He give me depression?  Why do things that this come into our lives and turn them upside down.  I couldn't go to college.  I couldn't make myself keep a job, and was averaging only a few months at each.  Why?  Why me?  What was I going to do with my life now?

    With the help of medicine and exercising with my mom, I started to get a little better.  I still wanted to lay around all day a sleep, but at least my emotions weren't so dramatically up and down.  I began to lose weight (through the side effects of my medicine, exercising, my mom's homemade meals, and less alcohol) and I began I feel happy about how I was looking again.

   I wasn't going to go out for the St. Patrick's Day festivities in Butte that year of 2003, but my big sister and some of her friends decided to come in from Missoula and they invited me out.  I decided to give it a shot.  I met Chad at the M and M bar that night.  After meeting me, he missed his ride home with friends so that he could get to know me better.  My mom came to pick me up later that night (as I had some how lost my sister and her friends) and I had her give Chad a ride home too. 

    I know some guys don't really call you the day after you give them your number, but Chad did.  And I was glad.  We got to know each other better on the phone for a few days, and then we started hanging out and dating after that.

     I began to get myself off of the couch every day and do something...so that when I saw Chad or talked to him on the phone later and he asked me what I had done that day, I would have a better answer than "nothing". 

     I was never really depressed that first month of dating.  I was in the love bubble.  But after about a month, I had an off-day and started a fight with Chad over nothing.  Luckily, I had managed to find one of the greatest guys in the entire world; so when I told him about how I have been dealing with depression and that sometimes I still get caught up in it, he was understanding and forgiving. 

   After years together, he knows how to deal with me when I am in one of my moods.  I remove myself from the room until I calm down.  And after years, my medicine keeps me so that as long as I am taking it, I don't get depressed...and exercise helps too.

    So why did God give me depression?  It was His way of bringing me to Chad.  I first went to college in Hawaii....but depression brought me back to Montana.  I intended on finishing college closer to home...but depression made it so I had to move back to Butte.  So I just happened to be living in Butte, when I wouldn't have been otherwise, when I met the man of my dreams and my partner for life.

 Chad, you are my best friend.  I thank God all of the time for giving my depression so that I could meet you.  My life has been so happy since I met you and I know that it will be until my dying days.  I love you.





 

A novel idea: Inserting new chapters

True to my word, I have done editing on my novel every day of March so far.  But yesterday, as I finished chapter 3 and dove into chapter 4, I realized that there is a lot of information that needs to be present before I introduce chapter 4's new character....that's good news and bad news.

It's good, well great, because it is going to bring my word count up by a couple thousand words.  I need that word count to at least pass 60,000 before I can even consider sending my manuscript to publishers. 

It's bad because I have to pull a whole new chapter out of thin air.  Sure, I know where to start, but darn it...it is a lot of work.  Wish me luck.  Gonna need an extra large amount of coffee in order to get this done.

"I never laugh until I've had my coffee." -Clark Gable

I decided I had better give credit to the quote that inspired the title of my blog.  It was said by Clark Gable and is one of my favorite quotes because it very much describes how I function.

Adventures in Motherhood: the best of times

During my first pregnancy, I was convinced that I was going to write about my daily experiences once my baby was born.  I knew that every day was going to be different from the other and every day was going to be one that I would want to remember.  What I didn't know is that, when you have a baby, there is no time let alone energy for that.  I barely had time to sleep let alone write about what I was going through.  But now, I still wish I had taken the time to write a sentence or two about the day.  There are so many things that will always be in my heart, but are hard to remember in my mind.

The best of times:  Every moment can't be perfect when you are raising kids, but there are definitely perfect moments.  My heart melts sometimes and tears of joy well up when my boys do something incredibly sweet.  There are so many of these moments that I wish I could tell you about, but again, they are hard to pin-point.  So in the future, if you see a post titled "Adventures in Motherhood: The best of times" expect to read something that happened that I want to remember.  Afterall, this is my journal.

As I browsed my Facebook photos today I found a cute picture of my boys at Will's soccer game two years ago.  When I clicked on it for a closer look, I noticed I had written a caption above it.

"Will came over for a drink of water and Ethan grabbed Will and asked him 'Who's my favorite boy?!' to which Will replied 'I am' and then went back and continued playing his game."

I love my boys!  What is one of your favorite moments of motherhood (or fatherhood!)?  I'd love to hear!

A novel idea: holding me accountable

It turns out, when I challenge myself to do something on this blog, and then share the page, I feel like I should follow through more than if I just mentally tell myself to.  Today was a bit crazy...with errands and driving around and working out and cleaning...by the time I was done with it all I just wanted to lie down and close my eyes for about 30 minutes.  But that darn post from yesterday kept weighing on my mind...

So I did some editing.  I got an entire half of a chapter done, or roughly six pages.  I feel pretty great about it since it's the most editing I've done in a while.  This just goes to show that when you have an "accountabili-buddy" you can get more accomplished.  You, my darlings, are my accountabili-buddies.  Thank you.

Fitness Junkie: Inspiration